Building a Self-Care Routine That Sticks

Building a self-care routine that sticks can feel nearly impossible. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve told myself that I’m going to be consistent with journaling, meditating, taking daily walks – the list goes on. 

One of the most common issues with building a self-care routine is taking on too much at once. If you try to integrate multiple new practices into your life all at once, the chances are that you will fail. As humans, we need an adaptation period when we add something new to our lives, so that we can get comfortable with it and become accustomed to doing it. Eventually, it becomes habitual. We need to be kind to ourselves by being realistic when it comes to taking on new practices. After all, would it really be self-care if it becomes stressful and overwhelming? So there you go, step one – focus on ONE thing at once.

Another common issue with building self-care rituals is that sometimes they just don’t work for us. Maybe we have seen them practiced and preached by thousands of other people, but that doesn’t mean that they will necessarily work for you. This is YOUR routine. You get to choose what works for you. You can do this through trial and error – think of a few things that make you feel good and fall into the realm of “self-care” and try them out (one at a time, of course). You might find that you really get a lot from self-help podcasts rather than forcing yourself to read the book you’ve been picking up and putting down for the past year. Or maybe you find out that self-care for you is a face mask and an ice roller, taking time to really nurture your skin. 

A common misconception about self-care is that it has to be something like journaling, mindfulness, or exercise. The definition and practice of self-care is literally “care for oneself.” So yes, if self-care for you is doing a jigsaw puzzle, or listening to your favorite album – those are absolutely accepted as self-care activities. 

It is crucial to be very intentional about the way that you view this time for yourself. If you look at your self-care routine as a chore that you force yourself to rush through every night, then you might as well not even consider it self-care. This is the time that you set aside to nurture your body, mind, and soul every single day. It should be a non-negotiable part of your routine. Set a time to keep it consistent – if this is going to be the last thing you do for the day and you go to bed at 10 pm every night, and your self-care routine takes you an hour, then you know that you need to start at 9 pm. Set a recurring daily reminder for yourself. Set a timer so that you don’t get distracted during this sacred time with yourself. Use any behavioral reinforcement and physical reminder that will help remind you that you deserve special time for yourself every single day!

Hold yourself accountable to your self-care routine! And if that isn’t working for you and you feel yourself constantly falling off the routine, try inviting one of your friends to do the same for themselves and do daily check-ins. This can help with accountability and even make the process more fun. Something that I have done that has really helped me in the past is using a habit-tracking app. I recommend Habit Tracker because it creates “streaks” for how many days you’ve kept up with the habit, which makes it fun, and also because you can opt to receive notifications, which will remind you to do your habits on a daily basis.  

The seven pillars of self-care can provide some guidance for self-care ideas. These are: mental, emotional, physical, environmental, spiritual, recreational, and social. It could be useful to examine which of these areas are lacking in your own life, and build your routine around nurturing them. Or, building a routine that consists of one practice per pillar.

Finally, don’t allow yourself to fall into a sea of wallowing and self-pity if you miss a day. Though you should set the expectation for this to be a daily practice, it’s unrealistic to believe that you will never miss a day. If you miss a day of self-care, acknowledge the loss, but give yourself some extra love and compassion during your next day’s routine. There is always the opportunity to get right back on track. Don’t make the excuse to yourself that you’ve already missed a day, so you’ve messed the whole thing up, or it wouldn’t matter if you missed another. It does matter – and that perspective isn’t a very strong reflection of self-love, now is it?

If you’re struggling to find practices to integrate into your self-care routine, I’ve listed some ideas below and grouped them according to the seven pillars of self-care. 

1. Physical (Caring for the body)

• Yoga

• Skin care

• Self-massage

• Hiking/walking

• Hydrating

• Taking a bath

• Stretching

2. Emotional (Managing emotions & self-compassion)

• Gratitude journaling

• Positive affirmations

• Pampering yourself

• Listening to a self-help podcast

3. Mental (Cognitive stimulation & mindset)

• Reading

• Visualization

• Creating something with hands

• Coloring

4. Environmental (Connecting with surroundings)

• Going outside

• Walking barefoot in the grass

• Taking a bath (can also fit under physical)

• Swimming

5. Spiritual (Inner peace & mindfulness)

• Meditation

• Breath work

• Yoga (also physical)

• Making a cup of tea

6. Recreational (Fun & enjoyment)

• Creating art

• Listening to music

• Hiking/walking (can also be physical)

7. Social (Building relationships & support)

• Talking to comforting friends

• Making a nice meal (if sharing with others)

• Sharing a self-care activity with a friend!

Remember that building a self-care routine that sticks requires time, effort, and consistency. Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Use behavioral reinforcements, set yourself up for success, take advantage of technology to set reminders, and most importantly, do what feels good for you. Self-care should feel nurturing and indulging, as it is a way to practice self-love.